


Class Rules

by UmbreonGurl



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Gen, disgruntled tired byleth, no beta we die like men, spoiler free, students doing stupid stuff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-04
Updated: 2019-08-04
Packaged: 2020-07-31 02:10:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20107465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UmbreonGurl/pseuds/UmbreonGurl
Summary: Almost every single one of the rules Byleth has had to add to the list has a story behind it.





	Class Rules

Byleth’s Class Rules

  1. “Rappin’ for the Goddess” is not an acceptable church hymn. I will not be singing it. Stop asking.
  2. “The Seiros Shuffle” is also an unacceptable dance for formal events. I’m not doing that either.
  3. Horses, wyverns, and pegasi are to be left _outside_ the classroom. If you bring them inside anyways, you are responsible for cleaning up after them, and fixing or paying for anything they may damage. I do not care if it “was funny.” It’s disruptive. Don’t do it again.
  4. If you want me to have enough money left in the budget to buy you all new, better weapons, stop breaking and losing them. It’s difficult to request more money for weapons when some of you thought “yeeting” a lance over the walls of Garreg Mach was a great idea. 
  5. Stop teaching Flayn curse words, please. Her brother will actually murder me. (And likely you as well.) 
  6. Please do not bring your meals with you to lecture. That means no eating an entire roast turkey during class. (You know who you are. Seriously, don’t do it. You got gravy _all_ over your homework and it was virtually impossible to grade.)
  7. Taking someone out for tea is not an acceptable reason for missing class. Neither is “fishing with the boys.” I don’t _care_ if they were “really biting today”, the fish can wait. So can tea. Come to class. 
  8. No more harassing Seteth with modern slang. I had to explain to him that dabbing is not, in fact, a battle technique, and we do not need to set up a seminar for you to learn it. You guys are confusing him. Stop. Please. I’m _begging_ you. As funny as it is, it makes my job _so_ much harder.
  9. Along similar lines, don’t do that stuff to the head chef either. As great as the multiple types of bread we had the other day were, I had to explain to her that “let’s get this bread” was not referring to actual bread. 
  10. Do not shoot your bow straight up. What goes up must—and _will_—come down. If I have to take another one of you to the infirmary for self-inflicted arrow wounds I _swear_.
  11. Please let me be when I choose to rest on my free day. If I am resting, it likely means I was up grading papers the night before and will be _very_ cranky if woken up. (Do so at your own risk.) Of course, if there is something urgent, or an emergency, feel free to wake me up. Getting rejected when asking someone out for tea does not count as an emergency.
  12. No more strip poker, truth or dare, or other such games that end up resulting in questionable actions. You guys know why this one’s on the list.
  13. Do your homework. If you forget to do it once, that’s fine, everyone makes mistakes. You aren’t allowed to “forget” it every day. It doesn’t have to be perfect, but please just _do_ it. Even if it’s wrong, something is better than nothing.
  14. Don’t sleep in class. It’s rude. I get it, I’m probably just as tired as you are, if not more. I’m often up half the night grading papers and writing reports. If I can stay awake to teach you, you can stay awake to be taught. 
  15. Treat the advice box seriously. It’s hard to help anyone out if every other note I find in it is “Why won’t you let us bring back poker night?” Do you really need me to answer that? You know why. You know very well.
  16. The fishing pond is not a pool. Don’t swim in it. 
  17. Stop referring to detention as “gay baby jail.” Detention is assigned for neither being homosexual nor being infantile.
  18. Using uwu-speak is now banned. I swear, if I hear another one of you say “then pewish” during a sparring match...
  19. The lost and found does not mean “it’s free real estate.” Please only take an item if it is yours.
  20. If you have to leave class early, do it in a different way than standing up, yelling “aight bro, I’m boutta head out” and walking out. 
  21. Dimitri has requested you stop yelling “DAAAAMN DIMITRI” at him every morning. 
  22. Please learn basic math. Nine plus ten is not twenty one.
  23. If you are about to do something stupid, don’t do it. (This should be obvious, but you all have left me no choice but to add it to the list. Use some common sense, please.)

**Author's Note:**

> This is basically a shitpost and I have no regrets. Sorry not sorry :)


End file.
